When you find yourself facing the questions any evil galactic overlord might face, this shirt will serve to remind you what to do. Step back, take a breath, and ask yourself, What Would Lord Xenu Do?

For those slow on the uptake, the answer is almost always:
Bring billions of people to Earth, stacked them around volcanoes and blow them up with hydrogen bombs so that their souls can clustered together and stick to human bodies and really mess things up for the pesky earthlings. You know, that whole thing.